I wouldn’t have known myself 40 years ago. Or if I had met me, I wouldn’t have liked me. Thank God we are allowed to evolve as we do our turns on this old earth.
Some choose not to. They must be young souls or enduring some kind of time-out, I don’t know their path, but it must be difficult to live 60 or 70 years and not evolve. To do so would require extreme inattention and a stubbornness I don’t possess. But, I’ve seen it done. Look at people like the current president. Look at Mitch McConnell, old himself, and still wanting to take away people’s healthcare and social security. People like that haven’t evolved. They may have devolved.
How can one live without learning?
Perhaps the same way some live — repeating the same mistakes and getting the same results. Over and over, like a hamster on a wheel, never getting anywhere but doing the same thing anyway. I did that for a while.
One must keep her eyes tightly closed or she will grow. The mind, too, must stay closed. That’s because if the mind is open it will evolve. It will stretch and grow if it is left open. It never fails. But once it is tightly closed, it will stop developing at that point and grow no more.
What we believe in our teens is not exactly what we will believe in our forties. We won’t be so cocksure about everything if we are growing. What I believed at 40 is not what I believe now, at 69. What I thought was absolute truth turned out to have truth in it, but some doubt, too.
It always interests me when someone says our cells change many times during our lives. I know nothing about science, so I take their word for it. It makes sense because the woman I am now doesn’t have much to do with the woman I was 30 or 40 years ago.
We have or develop an identity.
Identity. We develop identity. We know what we like and especially what we do not like. We know who we are, and more importantly, who we are not. We know we aren’t here forever, even though in our teens and 20’s that felt like the case. We know who we are. and so we become uninterested in appearing as anything other than our authentic selves. We develop that unexplainable quality called substance.
Old people are great to be around. They don’t give much of a crap what you think about them, so you get the real person and not whatever role that person is playing today. There are young people like that, too. They are the wise young, and true to themselves, but older people are far more apt to be.
There’s a saying that as we age we only become more of what we were in the first place. A hateful woman is a more hateful old woman. A mean man will be meaner still when he is old. I think that is somewhat true, but I think an individual can alter that course, too. Mean people can become gentler with age. The sharp edges of mean people can be softened, filed away by time and circumstances if the individual submits to change.
We find what fits us.
Young people try out roles. I know I did. I tried being this and then tried that until I found the combination of traits and beliefs that fit me. Do we all do that? I think so. Otherwise, how would we come to know what fits? How would we know who we are if we didn’t try on some personas?
I’ve heard it said that a sour old person is the devil’s greatest creation. I don’t know exactly why that is said, but I do know mean old people are so ugly they can be shocking to behold. I guess it takes a lifetime to acquire so much bitterness. We can never know what conditions caused such a miserable, hateful person, but we can pity them for whatever it was.
Lord let me evolve into a better, wiser, gentler being.