This was perfect for me today. I’m sitting in bright sunshine and yet the darkness has descended. I’ve fallen in the black hole. It’s beautiful out — my flowers are blooming— and sitting on my porch, I can smell their fragrance.

Nothing is different. Nothing has changed. Except me. It’s 3 p.m. and I just managed to get out of bed — though I slept all through the night.Even sun spilling through the window could not give me strength.

The effort to get up exhausted me. Usually it’s only autumn that throws me off the ledge. It’s worse because my usually beloved spring with all its warm beauty and birdsong has cruelly betrayed me; has pushed me over the edge into the damn abyss.

Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes it just sucks. That’s all. But it’s good to know I’m not alone.

Be well and blessed, Scott.

Former print journalist, former mayor, retired law enforcement officer. Writing about politics and government along with random personal essays.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store